I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
