No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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