I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
