Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize