my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
