so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize