Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
