My room smells like vodka and shame
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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