if you like me you must not know who I am
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
