I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize