I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
