we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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