I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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