Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
