I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
