"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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