I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
