dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
