I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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