I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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