Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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