so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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