he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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