i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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