I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I AM VODKA MAN
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
