So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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