We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
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You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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