Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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