Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
