I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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