the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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