So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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