their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
