Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
