yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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