I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
