so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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