So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
