So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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