Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
