Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
