if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I would ride that face into the sunset
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize