My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
