He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
that is very illegal...i love you.
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