If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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