By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
