Where is the hickey?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
