What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
