How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
