Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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