He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
