the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize