My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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