oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
