are you still at the devil's house?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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